Thursday, April 12, 2007

thank you sir, may i have another?

*warning! warning! Looooong rant ahead! Skip to the end for the short version!*

some things never seem to want to completely retreat from the daily bulletin board up in my head.
certain memories, (very) old familiar feelings, and what was once the most incredible exhilirating sense of being ALIVE and revelling in my own little universe which has now sort of become the clear-as-a-familiar-scent memory of a most incredible exhilirating sense of being ALIVE and revelling in my own little universe...

it's kind of sort of pseudo-quasi like this: back then, i saw no end to the possibilities, and while they sounded "fun", where i was at ANY given moment just so happened to be the awesomest place evar, and whatever i was doing felt like the absolute pinnacle of things to be doing... i had a life-living version of "too comfortable to move-itis", an affliction that we'd get quite often on a friday night, while on the couch, contemplating whether or not to join my then bestest bud Andrew at Fouf'...
that is, as absolutely fucking AWESOME as dancing all night looked, and often was, so was continuing to lie on this couch and just breath, occasionally catching the scent of her hair.

there are even more intense bouts of "too comfortable to move-itis" now, and had i not once received the mother of all God-damned perspective lessons, this would hands down be the setter of bars. unfortunately, i once ran the gauntlet of understanding (not long enough ago). y'know, everyone's a banzai ski-er until you taste your first fall, and you're always an INCREDIBLE driver until you first spin out of control on a rural 2 lane while an 18 wheeler, air horns BLARING, misses you by inches coming the other way. from then on, you approach the double black diamonds with a little more trepidation, and you maybe don't try to get from st-leonard to chambly in 18 minutes (having already made it in 19)...
you may one day drive back from Toronto in 3 hours and 19 minutes, and while it was FAR more exhilirating (having done it in a fancy car that can easily handle it, for example), it also brought back the heretofore forgotten memory of blinding pit of the stomach instant regret at the decision to speed that came to you at the moment when you thought the 18 wheeler was going to create new crumple zones in your little honda civic...
wow. ok.
Whoah, rant! I said WHOAH! *mutters* Rants is soooo stupid.

*short version:
1-whoever said it is better to have loved and lost is a fucking complete and utter idiot.
2-try not to peak early.
3-NEVER assume that there is enough time. NEVER.
4-things will be wonderful again, but unless you have selective amnesia, you'll always remember how it feels when they break.


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