:(
it's unfortunate. i know i'm right and virtuous and should champion my cause, because the injustice and general massive "NOT FAIR!"-ness of the whole situation has rendered it completely untenable. however, i appear to have lost my spine, not regarding actually facing the issue, but regarding my confidence in controlling the rage sharks.
yesterday, i chaired a meeting/audit/touchy-feely meeting with our biggest customer. i was told i'd chair this meeting at 4:00pm the day before, and while it was filled with words and acronyms like "TCO" (Total Cost of Ownership), LCC (Low Cost Countries), partners, "Run Items" (similar to "Action Items") and so forth, I think i acquitted our company and myself well enough that the Global Procurement Manager made a point of personally thanking me a few times, and the beers with the two other managers afterwards reinforced the excellent impression we left. I've got the outward courage to do things of many natures. it's the internal kind that's sorely lacking.
i already had an excellent opportunity this morning to have the necessary conversation, but it went poorly, because at the first arrogant dismissal i began to fume, and at the first clear sign of a complete lack of understanding the scope of things i lost the ability to speak. i started "Mmmm-hmmm"'ing instead, because i realized that the person i was speaking with was neither willing to see my side of things nor capable of understanding just how deep the problem ran...
i'm sad.
yesterday, i chaired a meeting/audit/touchy-feely meeting with our biggest customer. i was told i'd chair this meeting at 4:00pm the day before, and while it was filled with words and acronyms like "TCO" (Total Cost of Ownership), LCC (Low Cost Countries), partners, "Run Items" (similar to "Action Items") and so forth, I think i acquitted our company and myself well enough that the Global Procurement Manager made a point of personally thanking me a few times, and the beers with the two other managers afterwards reinforced the excellent impression we left. I've got the outward courage to do things of many natures. it's the internal kind that's sorely lacking.
i already had an excellent opportunity this morning to have the necessary conversation, but it went poorly, because at the first arrogant dismissal i began to fume, and at the first clear sign of a complete lack of understanding the scope of things i lost the ability to speak. i started "Mmmm-hmmm"'ing instead, because i realized that the person i was speaking with was neither willing to see my side of things nor capable of understanding just how deep the problem ran...
i'm sad.
posted by carlo at 7:28 AM
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